With a complete playlist right here:
I was admitted into the hospital on November 22nd for COVID and I decided to vlog about my recovery for 25 days after I left the hospital. The most interesting part of my recovery was how much mental health was a part of it.
After my husband Ryan picked me up from the hospital and as we drove off, I started sobbing. Being in the hospital during a major holiday (Thanksgiving) all by yourself but for people who are as or more sick than you is not a great place to be. I thought that once I came home I would magically be ok, but I was wrong.
That first week was a struggle. I constantly felt like I was going to have a heart attack or stop breathing in my sleep. I made the mistake of looking up other people who also had COVID and read many articles that stated how longterm the effects can be. I was having a breakdown almost every other day.
I kept waking up at off hours of the night, constantly feeling like I couldn’t breathe. My legs kept falling asleep and my chest pains were constant throughout the day. I was convinced that one day I would go to sleep and not wake up and even though that sounds scary, I was ok with it. It is not that I did not want to live, it was the fact that I knew I had this virus that has killed many other people, I knew that my body was feeling weird and unusual, I knew that my body had fought as much as it could and if it was my time to go then, it was my time to go.
I could tell you that one day I just felt like myself again but that would be a lie. To this day I don’t feel like myself. The only reason why I kept going each day is because of my husband.
Ryan kept me going every day, he set me up in the bedroom downstairs that was his office before and he created a little oasis in our downstairs restroom for me. He set up all of our Christmas decorations while I was gone and said “I left the Christmas tree bare so you can decorate it when you feel better,” giving me a goal. He walked behind me the first time I attempted to walk up the stairs. When I finally reached the top he took a nap with me on our bed when I was barely able to catch my breath. He rubbed my back when it was sore, and he made me tea every night when I couldn’t sleep. Among so many other things he gave me hope and he gave me strength to keep going.
Every day I felt better, some days were better than others but every day I could count on Ryan pushing me to do more each day. Vlogging every day and being able to look back is something that I am happy I did. Seeing my progress every day while I was editing and getting so many messages encouraging me and checking in really lifted my spirits.
One day I’ll look back at the videos and see this as that time I beat COVID.
At more than six weeks, Angie feels almost 90% recovered but for the lingering symptoms of shortness of breath and the occasional need for an inhaler. Although her recovery could be categorized as “moderate” rather than “severe,” it can be a frightening experience, not knowing whether long term effects will kick in. At this time, covid-19 is the leading cause of death for Americans, more lethal than heart disease or cancer. [Ed.]
I can almost understand that feeling of accepting death. Seems scary but when you feel so terrible, death must seem like a relief. Still, what a frightening and humbling experience. You are a officially a warrior in my eyes and I’m so glad you beat that awful virus.
Thank you I appreciate it.